Finally decided to make my will and had my younger sister to draft the will for me. It is still in process. The will will be dated this June 2009. Now with three children growing up, i dont want them to have the same feelings as me when my father's will was read. My father, old fashioned chinese, had his will made that the sons get most out of it. The girls just got small very small portion of it.
I dont have cash with me, just some shares left by my father. What i worry most is my daughter who is down with sickness, whether she will have enough money for her illness if ever i die earlier than her. I still have my EPF which although i was allowed to withdraw once i reached 55years, but i didnt and i only have my dividents out for use every year. I worked part time as a groomer at home, although not much but enough to cover for my own use.
What made me decide to make a will? Well , since i knew i got high blood pressure, i already decided to do so. Like my sister in law, she never got high blood pressure, but she suddenly got stroke last night and ended up now in coma. I hope she recover. I dont want to be like that and have my children fighing over my money.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Problem with Children
Coming from a old fashioned family that never showed love and affection like the new generation, so it is sometimes hard for me to show my love and affection to the children.
All the while, my three children complaint that i love this one and not her/him. Ever since they are young, my daughter will say i love my younger son more than the others. But one thing good about her is she still think of supporting the house, helped to repair the house and even gave me money every month until the time when she found she was sick. It was then that she changed the most....became more angry and argument. That is the time my relationship with her changed. It was until recently (end of 2008) that she finally lets me know of her sickness. I scolded her for keeping it quietly, suffering herself and let our relationship turned sore just because of it. At that time, the doctor told her she got only 10 years to live...but now that there is a medication for it, so she is ok but need to take medication for life. So i cant blamed her for the last 10 years when she changed totally, like quitting her education etc. After she told me what was wrong with her, i started to pay more attention to her, also by not telling my other children what is wrong with her, the others, especially my younger son, started to get angry saying i cared for my daughter more. That i dont help him finacially. So sometimes he will said things that hurt me most. Saying things like "if your daughter is so good to you, then you should go to her, you dont need me at all". Gee.....i dont know why my children are like that. They all seemed much better relationship with my husband's side family than with me. Maybe because my husband's side family are much better financially and can buy things that they wanted. It just seemed so hard for me...sometimes made me wonder where i gone wrong. To say the truth from my heart, he is the one that got the most out of me.
My daughter is good, althought she knew she is down with illness, she still works and support herself. I only helped to pay the downpayment of the apartment for her, which she sold last year and purchased a house for herself. I rather prefer her to move out as this will make her realised how hard it is to support a family and a house.
My young son, whom i named andrew. As i told him when he was young, that he is the youngest and he is like prince andrew to me. I even used my money for him to go to Australia to study but in the end, he quitted and wasted a big sum of money there. maybe because i never know how to show the love and affection, also because of my husband, who is a drunk all the time, that made our family relationship in a mess. Most of the time, my husband and myself will be quarrelling which i knew is not right for the children but what to do....especially if you are living with a husband who drink all the time and not supporting the house. Althought not able to really show my love and affection to them, but i am sure i showered many things to andrew since he is the youngest. And if he cant see it and still complain like the way he is, then i really got nothing to say.
Andrew moved out after quarrel with me. I didnt want to ask him to move back because i am not the one that asked him to move out and it is not my faults that we argued the other day. Is it wrong to get him to support the family now that i am not working? I am not asking him much, just a small sum.
My eldest son, Michael quitted his education when he was young. He moved to his grandparents house because of this but moved out and stay alone after his grand father's death. In fact, althought he is not highly educated, he ended up doing well now. I also helped him to pay down payment for his condomium. He is the one that never ask me for money. He also changed alot since....becoming more able to communicate than before.
With all these three children, i really felt i am a failure as a mother. All These while i am the breadearner, bought clothings, things etc for them....but what do i get out of it? Am i appreciated by them?????
All the while, my three children complaint that i love this one and not her/him. Ever since they are young, my daughter will say i love my younger son more than the others. But one thing good about her is she still think of supporting the house, helped to repair the house and even gave me money every month until the time when she found she was sick. It was then that she changed the most....became more angry and argument. That is the time my relationship with her changed. It was until recently (end of 2008) that she finally lets me know of her sickness. I scolded her for keeping it quietly, suffering herself and let our relationship turned sore just because of it. At that time, the doctor told her she got only 10 years to live...but now that there is a medication for it, so she is ok but need to take medication for life. So i cant blamed her for the last 10 years when she changed totally, like quitting her education etc. After she told me what was wrong with her, i started to pay more attention to her, also by not telling my other children what is wrong with her, the others, especially my younger son, started to get angry saying i cared for my daughter more. That i dont help him finacially. So sometimes he will said things that hurt me most. Saying things like "if your daughter is so good to you, then you should go to her, you dont need me at all". Gee.....i dont know why my children are like that. They all seemed much better relationship with my husband's side family than with me. Maybe because my husband's side family are much better financially and can buy things that they wanted. It just seemed so hard for me...sometimes made me wonder where i gone wrong. To say the truth from my heart, he is the one that got the most out of me.
My daughter is good, althought she knew she is down with illness, she still works and support herself. I only helped to pay the downpayment of the apartment for her, which she sold last year and purchased a house for herself. I rather prefer her to move out as this will make her realised how hard it is to support a family and a house.
My young son, whom i named andrew. As i told him when he was young, that he is the youngest and he is like prince andrew to me. I even used my money for him to go to Australia to study but in the end, he quitted and wasted a big sum of money there. maybe because i never know how to show the love and affection, also because of my husband, who is a drunk all the time, that made our family relationship in a mess. Most of the time, my husband and myself will be quarrelling which i knew is not right for the children but what to do....especially if you are living with a husband who drink all the time and not supporting the house. Althought not able to really show my love and affection to them, but i am sure i showered many things to andrew since he is the youngest. And if he cant see it and still complain like the way he is, then i really got nothing to say.
Andrew moved out after quarrel with me. I didnt want to ask him to move back because i am not the one that asked him to move out and it is not my faults that we argued the other day. Is it wrong to get him to support the family now that i am not working? I am not asking him much, just a small sum.
My eldest son, Michael quitted his education when he was young. He moved to his grandparents house because of this but moved out and stay alone after his grand father's death. In fact, althought he is not highly educated, he ended up doing well now. I also helped him to pay down payment for his condomium. He is the one that never ask me for money. He also changed alot since....becoming more able to communicate than before.
With all these three children, i really felt i am a failure as a mother. All These while i am the breadearner, bought clothings, things etc for them....but what do i get out of it? Am i appreciated by them?????
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